Are you a Dreamer, A Planner or a Doer?
Do you ever wonder why some of your dreams and desires seem to remain chronically frustrated or elusively out of reach?
Maybe you've been trying to start a running routine for months or longing for a new career, home, romantic partner, or bank account for years...
There are usually myriad reasons we get blocked, of course (both internal and external / personal and systemic) - but I'd love to share a few clues as to what can sometimes get in our way.
First, the backstory: when I worked for five years as a part-time Crisis Counsellor at the Assaulted Women's Helpline, I had a colleague - I'll call her Deepa - who I loved to chat with when there was space between calls.
Deepa had worked at the Helpline for many years and was a good 25 or 30 years older than me - and I really respected her wisdom and worldview.
One day we were talking about the women we served on the line, pondering personal transformation:
What qualities and conditions most help people take courageous steps forward in their lives?
What obstacles most often keep them stuck?
At one point in that multi-faceted conversation, Deepa offered a perspective that has stuck with me for over a decade:
"Well, one thing I know is that creating life change often requires us to have three different skills - and most of us aren't well developed in all three," she began.
"First, we need to be able to imagine new possibilities for our lives, to access clarity on what we really want. Without a compelling Vision, we can easily feel trapped in our status quo."
"But vision alone isn't enough - we also need a Plan. There's power in building out detailed maps of possible action in our minds. A good plan functions like a supportive bridge between a vision and a new reality."
"Finally," Deepa said, "to create transformation, even the most incredible vision and plan in the world won't amount to much if they never result in Action."
She continued, "So, when I talk to women about their abusive situation or handling a life challenge, I'm always keeping an ear out for their vision, plan, and action. Most of us are strong in one or two areas but limited in at least one."
Her breakdown of a recipe for transformation was simple yet profound: I'd never thought about change quite that way.
We need a Vision, a Plan, and Action to bring dreams to life - and if any one of those 'ingredients' are missing, we often end up feeling stuck or ineffective.
Deepa and I would muse on this simple yet powerful 'checklist for change' more deeply over years of working together, and I began to pay more attention to it as a helpful diagnostic tool in my crisis calls - and in my coaching practice.
When people paid attention to where they were at when it came to having a vision, plan, and action, they often stopped spinning in a frustrating rut or sense of futility: with refined awareness about where exactly they were stuck, we could then proceed to examine what was at the 'root' of an issue and emerge resourceful new ways forward.
Over time, I've developed skill in helping people based on this framework:
The Visionaries who can imagine beautifully but sometimes struggle to turn a dream into an effective plan or action
The Planners who love conceptualizing the bridge between a Vision and its realization but need support to refine the vision or take action
The Action-Takers who are gifted 'go-getter's but may benefit by pausing and reflecting more deeply before leaping into motion
So, if you've got a dream that you want to nurture, you can ask yourself:
Do I have a clear and compelling vision?
How about a clear and do-able plan?
Am I actually taking relevant action?
Once we recognize any gaps in that 'checklist for change' we can get creative about leveraging our strengths and mitigating or augmenting our challenge areas.
Credit: Tanya Gerber, Graphic Recorder / Facilitator - www.tanyagerber.com
Again, please don't get hard on yourself for any perceived 'deficits:' it's typical that we're comfortable or have a 'strong suit' in just one or two of these skills!
In 1:1 coaching, I walk people through this simple yet profound framework in greater depth - and offer powerful tools and resources for their 'stuck spots.'
I’m honoured to help people make progress in bringing a dream to life AND deepen awareness about their habitual 'change-making' patterns.
Coaching can help you with any of the following challenges:
You struggle with 'not-knowing,' articulating or feeling worthy of what you want
You get paralyzed trying to generate an effective plan
You often wish you'd pause and reflect more before taking action
You can dream and plan - but it's hard for you to actually get moving
Keep in mind, most of us did not get any schooling or mentorship to develop these crucial life skills and self-awareness - nor the fundamental tools to become more masterful in creating change in our lives and world.
Coaching can help you make progress in your life and gain invaluable personal knowledge, insight and confidence to propel you forward in the future.
You can strengthen your vision, plan and action when it comes to a meaningful dream in your life - and develop tools to handle your underlying fears and constraints.
If you want a supportive partner and process to help you to bring a goal to life - and to become a more powerful 'change-creator' in the process - please don’t hesitate to book a free (virtual) 30-minute coaching consultation chat with me.
Because, damn it, even in the midst of a pandemic, we have to keep living our lives. Even if much is in limbo, we can still cultivate many changes we yearn for.
If coaching ever feels like something you’re called to, I'd be honoured to guide you on a wonderful learning journey and help you get some new results in your life.
You can explore the possibilities with me in a free, no-pressure convo - I’d love to connect with you.
Cheering on your dreams, growth and evolution!
P.S. The Assaulted Women's Helpline is an excellent service here in Ontario. As the pandemic exacerbates economic and social inequities that render women and families vulnerable to abuse and violence, please share the word about this resource and consider donating to them. Thanks, Nicola
Nicola Holmes is a Life Coach who helps people turn their potent questions, dream and longings into inspired action. With warmth and wisdom, she’ll guide you to untangle constraints and cultivate courage to create a more aligned and joyful life. She has a BASc in Human Development, an MEd in Adult Learning and spent two decades working in the non-profit sector. Along with coaching for the past 14 years, she’s mama to two young spirited kids and dedicated to Buddhism. Having experienced long Covid and a move over the past two years, she brings deep empathy to others who are exploring how they’ve changed and who they’re becoming in turbulent times. Check out Nicola @nicolaholmescoach or join the email party for inspiration and resources to fuel the changes you want.