How to Enjoy December

Are you feeling grounded, calm, joyful?

Or does a scramble of exhaustion, stress or overwhelm sound more like it?

Perhaps you’re very much a mixed bag of various states and emotions.

There’s often so much dang pressure to be festive, happy, and social at this time of year - even though nature’s winter rhythms invite us to quiet and slow down and many of us in the Northern hemisphere are depleted or suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

I’m writing this to help you have the best December you can, whether you’re celebrating festivities or not.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or over-committed, here’s my first suggestion:

1: Dump To-Do’s Onto the Page

Look at all you need or want to do in the coming weeks and get the tasks onto paper.

For example: 

• I’ve got to sign up my kid for winter skating lessons

• I still need to get stocking stuffers

• I want to carve out time for a personal Winter Solstice ritual

• I’m in charge of appetizers at my aunt’s Hanukkah gathering

Please don’t underestimate the benefit of this process alone!

Once you see it all scribbled out in front of you, I hope you find that there’s less chaos and more calm inside that sweet head of yours - and that you’re better positioned to determine your priorities.

2. Choose Three Top Priorities

Look at the list you generated and consider what you want to do - not what you believe you must or should do but what you long to do.

Put a star beside the three things that you anticipate will bring you the most peace or joy. 

3. What’s the Best Bang for your Buck this Week?

What can you do in the next three days that might substantively uplift your December?

Take a baby step that will move you towards realizing one of your priorities.

For example:

• invite a dear friend over for a meal and savour a heart-to-heart before a flurry of activities to follow

• carve out a whole hour to slow down and thoughtfully prepare for the weeks ahead

• cancel an appointment that can wait

4. Give Yourself Radical Permission

Entertain the notion that you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do - even if it defies social expectations. For example, you don’t have to:

• write and send holiday cards 

• stay overnight with the in-laws

• visit them at all (!)

• buy presents this year

Really. Sometimes dominant seasonal social patterns are so established that they feel locked in.

I encourage you to step back and evaluate what you believe ‘what you must do’ so that you can make more conscious choice as to what you truly do and don’t want to do. 

Give yourself permission to do what you want.

5. Let Go of ONE Thing

If you could let go of just one thing on your to-do list that gives you the biggest sigh of relief, what is it? 

Even if it feels scandalous or you know your aunt will disapprove or the kids will declare mutiny or you might regret it, please trust yourself and run a new experiment this year.

I know it’s tricky to discern. Sometimes projects require a lot of work and yet they’re worth it. Or you might do something you don’t really love because you prefer that to enduring conflict, criticism or judgment if you set a boundary. Tough choices.

Nonetheless, I lovingly dare you to let go of one thing whereby your shoulders drop a little or your jaw softens and you find yourself thinking, Really? I don’t have to do X? I could honestly just not do it?! #mindblown

6. Set a Boundary | Experiment with a New Tradition

• You know what? Truth is, making that huge holiday meal exhausts me - it’s not fun anymore. Unless someone else takes that on, I’m voting for a potluck or take out.

• Thanks for the opportunity to do the workplace Secret Santa, but I’m going to opt out this year.

• I don’t feel like the usual Boxing Day board games. Instead, I’m going to light a candle for someone I’m grieving, put on a movie we used to watch and let sadness have its way with me.

If people give you backlash and want you to stick with the familiar routines, simply kindly and unambiguously reiterate your no. You’re allowed to take care of yourself.

I just learned of the boundary-setting Yes-No-Yes sandwich, if you want to try this on for size.

Here’s an example:

Yes #1: Thanks so much for including me in the family gift exchange; I’ve loved it in the past.

No: However, this year, I’ve made a commitment to care for my budget and tread lightly on the planet with few gift purchases.

Yes #2: That said, I can’t wait to watch everyone who participates enjoy the fun, and I hope it’s a fabulous year for the classic exchange.

7. Anticipate a Pain Point

Consider what may be difficult ahead.

Anything predictable or familiar coming your way?

For example:

• Eating more sugar or drinking more alcohol than your body wants?

• Enduring your cousin’s passive-aggressive comments about __________?

• Feeling lonely and/or excluded by dominant cultural rites and celebrations?

• Overdoing it and exhausting yourself? Grief? Financial stress?

Once you see clearly what may stir up some pain or discomfort for your future self, choose one of those difficulties and consider how you could support yourself.

Take a step to prevent or alleviate suffering for your future self.

So, Here’s the Summary:

1. Dump your jangle of to-do’s onto paper

2. Put a star beside three genuine priorities

3. Do one thing in the next three days that’s the most important

4. Give yourself permission to do things differently

5. Let go of one thing that lightens your load

6. Set a boundary | experiment with a new tradition

7. Anticipate a pain point and care for your future self

I know you may barely have a spare moment as it is, but I seriously encourage you to make 20 - 30 minutes to reflect and run through my little list. You may bang it out faster than you think.

Or just choose one of the above and see if that helps! Every little bit counts.

So often, when we protect time to plan and prepare, we receive many benefits down the road.

I wish you a nourishing December that honors you: a month in which you experience peace, freedom and more of whatever you truly yearn for.

Big hug and care coming your way,

P.S. Do you want to nurture change in your life in the coming year? If you’re ready to take a brave exploratory step, please book a free 60-minute consultation with me. I’d love to help you move forward.

P.P.S. If you want to nurture an intentional 2025, please join me for a free Year-End Retreat on January 2nd. I’ll provide my favourite year-end tools and host a quiet virtual space to help you reflect, integrate and imagine in good company. Gently put the past year to bed and welcome in a fresh new year. XO

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Nicola Holmes helps people turn their potent questions, dream and longings into inspired action. With warmth and wisdom, she’ll guide you to untangle constraints and cultivate courage to create a more aligned and joyful life. She’s a Certified Self-Belief Coach, has a BASc in Human Development, an MEd in Adult Learning and spent two decades working in the non-profit sector. Along with coaching for the past 17 years, she’s mama to two young spirited kids and dedicated to Buddhism. Having experienced Long-Covid and a move over the past two years, she brings deep empathy to others who are exploring how they’ve changed and who they’re becoming in turbulent times. Check out Nicola @nicolaholmescoach or join the email party for inspiration and resources to fuel the changes you want.